Alcohol
24 hours in a day… 24 beers in a case… coincidence? I think NOT!
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and how about one for the road.”
Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snakebites and furthermore, always carry a small snake. — W.C. Fields
An Irishman is not drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass to keep from falling off the world.
At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: ‘My dad owns a liquor store.’ — Mark Klein
I’m not making this up. In Switzerland a company is marketing a beer directed at gay people. If you drink too much, you’re pulled over by a cop, a construction worker, an Indian, and a cowboy. It comes in a bottle although most guys like it in the can. – Jay Leno
Miniature cocktail: You drink one and in a miniature out.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…
Scientists have said they may have figured out a way to travel through time. For years now I’ve known of a potion that can let you travel through time..it’s called tequila. – Craig Ferguson
Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that? — Lisa Claymen
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a disjointed pinocchio.


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