“Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground.” Tommy Cooper
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
A man replied to the following question on an application form ‘Who to notify in the case [...]
His performance was so wooden you want to spray him with Liquid Pledge.
If all the world is a stage, where the hell is the audience sitting?
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Good advice is one of those insults that ought to be forgiven.
A woman in India claims that she has lived to be 120 years old by drinking wine and smoking pot every day. No one had the heart to tell the stoned woman that she’s only 35. – Conan O’Brien
I know I’m getting old because a sexy babe caught my fancy and my pacemaker opened the garage door.
I know [...]
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