Nam's One-Liner Jokes

I went camping with some friends once in the cold and we bought a cheap tent. Yep, that was the winter of our discount tent.
 
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. — George Carlin
 

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research? I said, ‘All right, but we won’t get much done.’
 

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
 
I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel. — Scott Wood
 
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to [...]

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. — Jeff Valdez
 
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.  – Steven Wright 
 
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
 
How do you make a cat go “woof”? Dip it in gasoline and light a match
 
I gave my cat a [...]

A cell phone video has surfaced of Saddam Hussein’s hanging and officials are trying to figure out who shot the video. People who were at the hanging say it was probably the guy who kept yelling: ‘Hey keep it down, I’m on the phone here!’ – Conan O’Brien
 
A vacuum with nipples. — Otto Preminger of Marilyn Monroe
 
Caesar’s Palace has [...]