Nam's One-Liner Jokes

A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
 

A 94-year-old great-great grandmother has become the oldest person in the world to earn a Masters degree. She says she plans to continue her education. Everyone is excited for the 94 year old, except her student loan officer. — Conan O’Brien
 
Education is going to university to learn to express your ignorance in scientific terms.
 
Education: the path from cocky [...]

Egotist:  A person more interested in himself than in me. – Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911  
 
I don’t have a big ego, I’m way too cool for that.
 
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
 

Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. That’s actually what caused many of their deaths…. pillow fights.
 

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug.  Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. — Tim Allen