HEADLINES FROM 2035: Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $7.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
People usually get what’s coming to them-unless it’s been mailed.
Archive for the ‘M’ Category
Marriage
A batchelor is a selfish, undeserving guy, who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
A woman goes to see a Gypsy fortune-teller. “Two men are in love with me,” she says. “Who will be the lucky one?” The fortune-teller answers, “John will marry you. Dave will be the lucky one.”
Adam to Eve: I’ll wear the plants [...]
Martial Arts
A Zen master once said to me, “Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.” So I didn’t.
I know karate, kung-fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
Masturbation
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day — Confucius
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century, it was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure. – Thomas Szasz
Q: What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker!
The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have [...]
Maths
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. — Mickey Mouse
In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators, we had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
(4.00 out of 5)
