Nam's One-Liner Jokes

I’ve taken up meditation… at least it’s better than sitting around doing nothing. –Max Kauffmann
 
I took up meditation. I like to have an espresso first just to make it more challenging. — Betsy Salkind
 

According to a new study, ladies and gentlemen, you can improve your memory by watching less TV, doing crossword puzzles, eating more fish – I can’t remember all that. – Dave Letterman
 
Everyone has a photographic memory-some just don’t have film.
 
Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
 
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending [...]

A group of people here in California are fighting for the right for women to be able to sunbathe topless in California. The name of this group… guys. — Jay Leno
 
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
 
It takes a big man to cry, [...]

Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies!
 
Even paranoids have real enemies. — Delmore Schwartz
 
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
 
I don’t buy temporary insanity as a murder defense. Because people kill people. That’s and animal instinct. I think breaking into someone’s home and ironing all their clothes is temporary insanity.
 
I don’t [...]

I once thought I made a mistake, but I was wrong.
 
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.