Nam's One-Liner Jokes

My aunt used to say, ‘What you can’t see, can’t hurt you’…well, she died of radiation poisioning a few months back! – Harry Hill

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure. — Jack E. Leonard to Ed Sullivan
 
I disbelieved in reincarnation in my last life, too.
 

A relationship is what happens between two people who are waiting for something better to come along.
 
Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before [...]

A diagnostic is someone who doesn’t know whether there are two gods.
 
A Mother was reading a Bible story to her young daughter. She read “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt”. Her daughter [...]

I was at such a bad restaurant the waiter asked me ‘would I like to eat, Sir?’ “What are my choices?” I asked. ”Yes or no,” he replied
 
This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures. – Richard Lewis