Quiz

Try my one-liners quiz. I’ll be adding new questions every week so come back often!

 

Total number of questions: 20

 

 

Who said this:

 

Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground.





Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snakebites and furthermore, always carry a small snake.





How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.





According to a survey by Playboy magazine, three percent of women can’t remember their natural hair color. You know what you call these women? Blondes.





Here’s some good news: Subway crime is down. It’s been weeks since I’ve been ridiculed for the contents of my briefcase by subway punks.





I was getting my teeth whitened, but then I said forget that, I’ll just get a tan instead.





When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.





DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never under-stood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard, but why do his underpants have a belt on them?





They do a lot of animal testing in the cosmetics industry, maybe they should brag about it in their commercials. ’Aquanet hair spray, if it can blind a spider monkey, it can make your hair look luscious!’





Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.





Television? The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.





My aunt used to say, ‘What you can’t see, can’t hurt you’…well, she died of radiation poisioning a few months back!





Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?





I feel like I’m in a rut. Every time I go to bed at night, I find myself just getting up again in the morning.





I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt? … The one who wins gets a purse. And they do it in gloves. It’s the accessory connection I love.





I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!





I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.





Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.





If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.





She got her looks from her father – he’s a plastic surgeon.








Make Poverty History Today! Make Poverty History Today!