Science
A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge.”
Black holes suck!
British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human cells with rabbit eggs. Their goal is to create a human with a lucky foot. — Jay Leno
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared? — Lily Tomlin
One thing about the speed of light…it gets here too early in the morning.
Photons have mass!? I didn’t even know they were Catholic…
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. — Albert Einstein
There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1 in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036. Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t send scissors; that would be impractical. — Craig Ferguson
What’s the speed of dark?


Leave a Reply