Nam's One-Liner Jokes

Beauty is only a light switch away.
 
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
 
I don’t have anything against facelifts, but I think it’s time to stop when you look permanently frightened.
 
Never go to a plastic surgeon whose favorite artist is Picasso
 
No matter how good she looks, some other guy somewhere is sick and [...]

A child of five would understand this – send someone to fetch a child of five. — Groucho Marx
 
A judge ruled that Britney Spears’ kids would be better off they go to live with Kevin Federline. The judge made the ruling after a six-month exhaustive search for an option C. — Conan O’Brien
 
A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, [...]

A dog recently saved his owner’s life, because he had been trained to dial 999.  Unfortunately, operators had trouble finding the address ‘woof, woof.’ — Norm McDonald
 
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
 
Did you [...]

What a hotel we’re staying at! The towels are so big and fluffy, you can hardly close your suitcase! — Bessie and Beulah
 
I have property in LA. A hotel is holding two of my suit-cases. — Soupy Sales
 
I was at this terrible hotel once. The room was tiny, without proper ventilation, and it didn’t even [...]

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
 
Always borrow money from a pessimist-they don’t expect to be paid back.
 
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when some-one says something like, ‘Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?’ or ‘Do you [...]