A friend in need is a friend to dodge.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A man is known by the company he avoids.
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. — Ambrose Bierce
Familiarity breeds contempt – but without a little familiarity you can’t [...]
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
HEADLINES FROM 2035: Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
How do you get 99 old ladies to say “f***” at the same time? Yell “Bingo!”
I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don’t count it.
The video game Grand Theft Auto [...]
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
Always borrow money from a pessimist-they don’t expect to be paid back.
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when some-one says something like, ‘Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?’ or ‘Do you [...]
After hitting record high temperatures earlier this month, New York has now hit a record low. It was 9 degrees in Central Park today. They’re warning New Yorkers now not to leave their middle fingers exposed for more than a couple of seconds. — Jimmy Kimmel
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention [...]
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