A child of five would understand this – send someone to fetch a child of five. — Groucho Marx
A judge ruled that Britney Spears’ kids would be better off they go to live with Kevin Federline. The judge made the ruling after a six-month exhaustive search for an option C. — Conan O’Brien
A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, [...]
A 94-year-old great-great grandmother has become the oldest person in the world to earn a Masters degree. She says she plans to continue her education. Everyone is excited for the 94 year old, except her student loan officer. — Conan O’Brien
Education is going to university to learn to express your ignorance in scientific terms.
Education: the path from cocky [...]
We need not worry so much about what man descends from-it’s what he descends to that shames the human race. – Mark Twain
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it. – Mark Twain
The man responsible for making popcorn a movie theater snack has passed away. His family was going to get him a regular casket, but then decided to get the extra large one was the better deal because it came with a [...]
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. — Mark Twain
Be consistent (but not all the time)
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps!
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
I feel like I’m in a rut. Every time I go to bed at night, I find [...]
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