A woman in India claims that she has lived to be 120 years old by drinking wine and smoking pot every day. No one had the heart to tell the stoned woman that she’s only 35. – Conan O’Brien
I know I’m getting old because a sexy babe caught my fancy and my pacemaker opened the garage door.
I know [...]
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. — P.G. Wodehouse
He was an angry man, my Uncle Swanny. He had printed on his grave stone: ‘What are you lookin’ at?’ — Margaret Smith
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. — Phyllis Diller
What if you’re in hell, and you’re mad at someone, [...]
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